Dear bloggie,
I hope that my source of support will appear one day before me. I hope that i'll get the signals somehow and I'll learn how to hold on to it. I hope that it'll always be there beside me when I most needed it. I hope that it'll be right beside me for me to lean on, to whine to or to cry on.
I just need one and only support and I hope that it'll belong to only me because I'm such a possessive person.
Apparently, that support hasn't appeared. Bloggie, what do you suppose I should do? Wait, or take the initiative to look for one? The facebook quiz told me that it'll appear when I least expect it. I wonder how true that is. Despite all the consolations i get from people, results just don't occur. Well, consolations are just consolations.
Maybe... one day... maybe
Signing off already bloggie... good night.
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Battle of losers - Last one standing
Dear bloggie,
Tower 12 lost the battle of losers because i didn't manage to stay inside the battle long enough =.= Oh well, didn't expect myself to win when there's a guy left behind in the dodgeball game. haha =) My ankle has been nice to me. It has healed extremely fast and allowed me my last game in dodgeball.
Anyway bloggie, I stayed up really late last night again. I've got really bad sleeping habits. First, ended up chatting in the kitchen cos I wanted to steal some of toto's fritters. Then I started studying late. Then I went to the fishbowl to study, and ended up chatting with people there. i) sam + toto ii) eshan. Had a really long chat with eshan for the 2nd time about our histories. I obviously wouldn't reveal his history here yea but it was really interesting. We've quite a few things in common, like the things i experienced lately.
Bloggie, I'm trying to stay positive and bear less grudges. I'm trying to be less evil and only be mean in a joking sense. It'll take me some time to change but I'll try to work hard towards that goal. I'd love some emotional support along the way but it'd be difficult to find one who has the time and money and patience.
Oh ya, before the fishbowl chat, i was chatting on msn with a particular somebody, whom i've decided to give up on. It's the first time we had such a long msn chat. Usually, he's slow to respond and i'll get so tired of it. Then he probably became concerned when I told him about my problems. He's willing to become my counsellor, but did he say it just because he's nice? He'll really respond if I complained? I shouldn't take his words seriously after deciding to give up.
Thanks for listening bloggie~
Tower 12 lost the battle of losers because i didn't manage to stay inside the battle long enough =.= Oh well, didn't expect myself to win when there's a guy left behind in the dodgeball game. haha =) My ankle has been nice to me. It has healed extremely fast and allowed me my last game in dodgeball.
Anyway bloggie, I stayed up really late last night again. I've got really bad sleeping habits. First, ended up chatting in the kitchen cos I wanted to steal some of toto's fritters. Then I started studying late. Then I went to the fishbowl to study, and ended up chatting with people there. i) sam + toto ii) eshan. Had a really long chat with eshan for the 2nd time about our histories. I obviously wouldn't reveal his history here yea but it was really interesting. We've quite a few things in common, like the things i experienced lately.
Bloggie, I'm trying to stay positive and bear less grudges. I'm trying to be less evil and only be mean in a joking sense. It'll take me some time to change but I'll try to work hard towards that goal. I'd love some emotional support along the way but it'd be difficult to find one who has the time and money and patience.
Oh ya, before the fishbowl chat, i was chatting on msn with a particular somebody, whom i've decided to give up on. It's the first time we had such a long msn chat. Usually, he's slow to respond and i'll get so tired of it. Then he probably became concerned when I told him about my problems. He's willing to become my counsellor, but did he say it just because he's nice? He'll really respond if I complained? I shouldn't take his words seriously after deciding to give up.
Thanks for listening bloggie~
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
i hate myself >.<
I sprained my blardy left ankle again. Dammit. I was walking walking and piiuuuuu~ sprained. zzz... I was still thinking about going to the korean shop to do some shopping before taking the bus back to Chiz. So sadddd.... First 5 mins = hysteria! I didn't feel like i could move my ankle then i started sobbing frm the pain. haha.
anyway, went to see a doc to enhance healing. Apparently, unlike chinese sinseis, the western docs dun do much other than sit there and prescribe med. I remember how those sinseis torment me when they twist my ankle and rub ointment on it. this doc? He was soo blardy tired he didn't even seem concerned at all with wad went wrong. He really has bad attitude towards weak. End of appt = anti-inflammatories recommended (not even prescribed) + use ice packs. LOL! find it completely useless to see him manz or maybe i was being overparanoid. Oh well, i shall let my dear little ankle rest now.
anyway, went to see a doc to enhance healing. Apparently, unlike chinese sinseis, the western docs dun do much other than sit there and prescribe med. I remember how those sinseis torment me when they twist my ankle and rub ointment on it. this doc? He was soo blardy tired he didn't even seem concerned at all with wad went wrong. He really has bad attitude towards weak. End of appt = anti-inflammatories recommended (not even prescribed) + use ice packs. LOL! find it completely useless to see him manz or maybe i was being overparanoid. Oh well, i shall let my dear little ankle rest now.
Monday, May 25, 2009
Okok... i'm updating.
Heehee, i have been lazy to access blogger ever since i installed mozilla on my comp. Mozilla blocks my access to many websites which is quite crap. Anyway, clinicals were over since 1 week ago. I felt so good when it ended because that means I didn't have to wake up at 5am on AM shifts. Just imagining I'll have to repeat this in the future >.< Anyway, i'm prepared. As compared to my previous clinicals at aged care, i think i preferred the med-surg clinicals much more. I didn't exactly look forward to the end and I was enjoying it most of the time. That's a good sign!
After that I was really really free. I took my whole weekend off to relax and do random stuff. Actually, I don't have much to update. I have no lessons currently, and i just converted into a half-mugger.
And oh yea, i just fell in love with marinating chicken and pork with all kinds of sauces and experimenting them in the oven or on the frying pan. Charsiew pork went well. The chicken turned out to be salty most of the time even though i just used LKK teriyaki marinade. Maybe i should try teriyaki pork the next time. Craving for pork after half a year of chicken >.< i should buy more pork the next time round.
I love CO practices when there are many many people around. It's so much more fun. Obviously, i love it more when there are many many people in my section so that we can talk and laugh while playing. I still remember how we were joking about the songs and playing styles last week during practice. ahh... I hope today's practice will be good =D
About my drama life, i've started watching delightful girl choonhyang, and going to start on mei-chan no shitsuji next. Going to watch cinderella man after mei-chan. I want more episodes of family outing (this korean reality show)! Family outing just cheers me up whenever i feel moody. Timing is now!
Heehee, i have been lazy to access blogger ever since i installed mozilla on my comp. Mozilla blocks my access to many websites which is quite crap. Anyway, clinicals were over since 1 week ago. I felt so good when it ended because that means I didn't have to wake up at 5am on AM shifts. Just imagining I'll have to repeat this in the future >.< Anyway, i'm prepared. As compared to my previous clinicals at aged care, i think i preferred the med-surg clinicals much more. I didn't exactly look forward to the end and I was enjoying it most of the time. That's a good sign!
After that I was really really free. I took my whole weekend off to relax and do random stuff. Actually, I don't have much to update. I have no lessons currently, and i just converted into a half-mugger.
And oh yea, i just fell in love with marinating chicken and pork with all kinds of sauces and experimenting them in the oven or on the frying pan. Charsiew pork went well. The chicken turned out to be salty most of the time even though i just used LKK teriyaki marinade. Maybe i should try teriyaki pork the next time. Craving for pork after half a year of chicken >.< i should buy more pork the next time round.
I love CO practices when there are many many people around. It's so much more fun. Obviously, i love it more when there are many many people in my section so that we can talk and laugh while playing. I still remember how we were joking about the songs and playing styles last week during practice. ahh... I hope today's practice will be good =D
About my drama life, i've started watching delightful girl choonhyang, and going to start on mei-chan no shitsuji next. Going to watch cinderella man after mei-chan. I want more episodes of family outing (this korean reality show)! Family outing just cheers me up whenever i feel moody. Timing is now!
Monday, May 4, 2009
So tired
After a full week of clinicals, i'm so tiredd already. All i did was, go work, come back, relax, and sleep. I didn't even make use of time properly to do some work like my assignments and my case studies because i was too tired to do them. I tried listening to lectures but i fell asleep right in front of my laptop. i really lack sleep and i really need them!! It's really not easy to do a PM shift, arrive back at 10pm, and having to wake up the next dae at 5am for the AM shift. woooshhh... Luckily i cooked in advance so i wasn't too preoccupied with cooking. My dear floormate also volunteered her cooking service to help me feel less tired =D I crammed the rest of my work on fri night, sat and sun. It's really not easy!! I shouldn't cram >.<
I experienced a lot this week during clinicals but i wouldn't talk much about it here due to privacy issues. All i can say is, there are happy times and sad times.
Sat was an emo day yea.
Spent quite a bit of my assignment-doing time listening to emo ppl. Listening to too much emo stuff made me a bit emo. I'm not emo enough to cry. There's nothing making me depressed at the moment but i just don't feel like smiling. I want a hug but then i don't know who to approach. i wonder who will actually listen to what i say, understand what i say, accept what i say and give me a bigbig bear hug. i admit that i'm a really talkative person, a partial exhibitionist, and attention-seeker. I know those flaws and i'm trying not to manifest too much of that. However, sometimes, i just need someone to really just focus on listening to what i've to say even if i'm just repeating what i've said. I wonder if there would be someone, who'd put down all other preoccupations like schoolwork and sacrifice that bit of time just to focus on listening to me. haha! i think that "someone" exist but i'm not willing to approach yea...
I miss my sg fwens...
After watching all the japanese kids dancing hiphop on youtube, i got hooked to their dance songs. ROFL! In love with Champion by Psy now. It's a really cool, but game-like, korean song. Trying to listen to more BigBang songs but i guess i'm still stuck on Tohoshinki now.
Ohya! Found another eye-candy! rofl... i was walking back from the library back to Chisholm when i saw this jap-looking guy coming out from Menzies. I thought he was the eye-candy i met from the badminton competitions. I stared at him for some time while walking but i realised that yea, it's freaking ppl out. I continued walking and i thought, maybe i can turn around and look one more time (you don't get to see that many eye-candies in non-jap country). Omg! he was looking at my direction too >.< *blushes* I quickly avoided eye contact yea. I think he's completely freaked out by me. So sad he's not in Chiz! Else i can see him more often =)
I experienced a lot this week during clinicals but i wouldn't talk much about it here due to privacy issues. All i can say is, there are happy times and sad times.
Sat was an emo day yea.
Spent quite a bit of my assignment-doing time listening to emo ppl. Listening to too much emo stuff made me a bit emo. I'm not emo enough to cry. There's nothing making me depressed at the moment but i just don't feel like smiling. I want a hug but then i don't know who to approach. i wonder who will actually listen to what i say, understand what i say, accept what i say and give me a bigbig bear hug. i admit that i'm a really talkative person, a partial exhibitionist, and attention-seeker. I know those flaws and i'm trying not to manifest too much of that. However, sometimes, i just need someone to really just focus on listening to what i've to say even if i'm just repeating what i've said. I wonder if there would be someone, who'd put down all other preoccupations like schoolwork and sacrifice that bit of time just to focus on listening to me. haha! i think that "someone" exist but i'm not willing to approach yea...
I miss my sg fwens...
After watching all the japanese kids dancing hiphop on youtube, i got hooked to their dance songs. ROFL! In love with Champion by Psy now. It's a really cool, but game-like, korean song. Trying to listen to more BigBang songs but i guess i'm still stuck on Tohoshinki now.
Ohya! Found another eye-candy! rofl... i was walking back from the library back to Chisholm when i saw this jap-looking guy coming out from Menzies. I thought he was the eye-candy i met from the badminton competitions. I stared at him for some time while walking but i realised that yea, it's freaking ppl out. I continued walking and i thought, maybe i can turn around and look one more time (you don't get to see that many eye-candies in non-jap country). Omg! he was looking at my direction too >.< *blushes* I quickly avoided eye contact yea. I think he's completely freaked out by me. So sad he's not in Chiz! Else i can see him more often =)
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